For those of similar fate (which might also be attempting to keep themselves into the academic research path), maybe what I’m about to say might ring familiar, somehow?
Or even for anyone who’s struggled on a path to accomplish something that you can only see the results after a much longer period, but which burdens the need of daily activities, bit-by-bit, actively contributing to a whole mass of momentum dealt and struck into a single moment (albeit, in some presentation of sorts or some test, who knows), you just gotta stick to it, but then, that’s the hardest part.
People conjure all scenes of fame and glory, fortunate circumstanes or even just sheer luck, but what most fail to see or to consider ( and tight that thought for a second, because, really they couldn’t see you while doing all of your shenanigans in the meanwhile ), that is was not even close in hell that it was just “luck” or any of those matters.
It was those unglorious evenings, where you had to drive off thoughts trying to make you weaver to do other stuff, fleeting more “interesting” considerations and all the like, trying to take you off the path and veer you off of course, and maybe…. Maybe that’s exactly the direst part, keeping it on track you know?
I think I may have already talked about rallying in here some other time, and now that analogy also rings true, considering that, day-by-day, one must keep on track. Sure, there are those days in here where we just crash and burn, but more often than not we still need to get hold of the wheel and get back on it, wet, snow, gravel or else the terrain of our thoughts must be, trying to make us slip by.
Funny thing, the very ones that may (at times) be keeping ourselves off track, seems to be our own kin. Ourselves, distracted and dissociated from the feelings of “making a difference” or “doing something really relevant” in here, or whatelse more you wanna put a name to it. Truth is, in the end, it might really be helpful and fruitful, but the thing is, no matter that, the glory (if there’s any) might not even come, or might be delayed, and we have to find ways and meanings to keep doing whatever it is that we do, because…. Well, because it might be done, and because, if not for you, who else might even attempt to (do) it, anyways?
It’s a core responsibility, y’know, to keep on track during those unglorious evenings, even though no one’s wathing, or maybe no one will ever know… or even, maybe, somebody else, someone who, I can’t fathom who, would stumble on one’s stranger blog posts here and there. Then, well, I gues… Maybe someone will know, of just a tiny bit, of certain struggles one might embrace while doing the monotone things that must be done in order for one’s own world not to collapse.
(And pardon for my frail writing, it just comes as it goes unto my head, and that’s all).
I hope you all have a good one.
(written whilst listening to: Doomed by Bring Me The Horizon (cover)| Eliza Grace ) 20.11.25_08:21PM