There are a certain number of unexpected moments that seems to haunt you, whenever you feel the most vulnerable. I had just watched an unseemingly 1m58s Youtube video that incredibly hit me like a brick being tossed right into my stomach. “Did People Used to Just Sit in Silence?” was the title and one comment that struck me the most was the following:
I lost a very important friendship around 2 years ago. The grieving process was brutal, I felt like I was walking around with my whole chest collapsing for the first 6 months. ‘Escaping’ to social media somehow made it way worse. All the constant information did the opposite of filling the void - it overwhelmed me when I needed space more than ever. I started walking every morning just in complete silence, then I would dedicate 30 mins everyday to just sit and reflect. It truly helped me regain peace because it allowed me to look inward and sit with my feelings, feeling everything, reflecting, and developing a method for self soothing. Sitting in silence would help us to connect with ourselves - and in times like this where we easily get drowned by everything, it’s more important than ever.
Thus, I also felt this disconnection several times, especially through social media, where paradoxically it seems to drown us over instead of helping us reconnect with others. Then, it occured to me, how much is it that we have lost, in terms of getting in touch with ourselves, when instead we get so much from technology in itself? Such peace that many of us seek could never be found in such a place that stirs our envy and comparison so much like social media and yet, why do we fall for the trap and tend to seek this?
Maybe, and this is just me guessing, it is mostly because of our inability to be at ease with ourselves, and I say this for me because hardly ever I am the best company for my own self. Unfortunately it is the way it is, and seems to be because I am unable to listen to my own self, to stop and think, without judging everything. And maybe… Maybe that is exactly what I am expecting from other people, and what makes it even more difficult for connecting with them: the absence of judgement, and also, the fear of retaliation.
Because, you know, we never know if it’s gonna be acknowledged by others the means through which we are constantly trying to fill our voids, in any case… (and should we even worry about this?) But then… Our voids resonate with silence, and that is what we might need to become acquaintanced about.