Funny thing though, that in the modern times which we find ourselves in, in order to be “truly” ourselves, somehow we thus need to dissociate from our own profile and personae. Lemme illustrate this with something I’ve faced twice recently…
Two different people drew my attention for me “exposing too much” on social media, one on Threads, another one on IG. On both cases I was using my real personal account, thus, it was linked to my real name in the nickname, therefore, others could trace it back to me. So then, low and behold, DM surged where people told me “you shouldn’t do this, other people will judge you because of this and because of that”, and heck, I was just being myself.
I won’t bother you with the details (actually I just deleted the entire paragraph where I was supposed to bore you to death with them) because actually they are irrelevant. The message that are being sent to me, on the other hand, and this whole situation, is pretty relevant, though. It seems like, for us to be more “at ease” nowadays we have to distance ourselves from our real identities, which could be traced back to us, because nowadays we have the troubles of retaliation, cancellation (as in cancel culture), or whatever the heck more might go on people’s minds, because we are not “adequate” to their perceptions or values.
So, hell, this is the very truth as to why I named this blog the way I did, and because as of now there’s not any more info about real “me” in it. Because I intend to keep it that way, and because I’ve felt, unfortunately, that for me to express thoughts and feelings in better terms, better safe than sorry. Better you have some fragmented perception of who I am in this heck of world, than you know me for real. And trust me, it’s not so much fun as it is an experiment.
As in Severance, the series, where there are literally two instances of the same person, one for work, and another one for personal affairs, but the trouble is that in reality, we do this dissociation (or at least I do) knowingly of whatever the hell the other “shadow” version of me is doing. Suddenly, I feel obliged to hide and select whatever form of content I choose to dispose into the “real” world through “myself” or through my “avatar”, as the one here that is talking to you right now.
For you I may not at all be anything, but a figment of imagination that you will never confront in person, a talking voice inside of your head and of anyone’s head reading these fragments here in the blog. But also on the other hand, these seems to be a necessary ailment in order for a “real” person like me to survive expressing what one thinks its relevant in the midst of a disturbed world where evermore we are chased afterwards for what we choose to do, or to think.
Heck, what a time to be alive. Fuck me.