Maybe the title is quite a flex, but it is actually based on a few experiences I’ve had previously.
You see, I work in a field, which happens to be IT, which can really benefit from a bunch of people which were self-taught, and me being one of them in this case. So, my main field of study previously to working with these current contraptions was different, and because of that I have to make do with the knowledge that I have gathered, and a much bunch of times, study even more because of the lack of my formal education in IT field in the first place.
One area that deserves reckoning that I ought to do better is networking, which I could really use some study, but would need some time to get into grips with it. I like what I do, don’t get me wrong, the issue is that oftentimes, I just need some more thinking into getting familiar with how all the pieces fit.
And for this kind of thinking, I need time available to study. And because of this, I know I could better use my time, but oftentimes, I am studying a bunch of things, just to keep up, you know? Maybe a few would call me workaholic, and to be fair, maybe I think I am, a tiny bit of it? But also, maybe that is just one of the side-effects to wanting to keep doing your work better (or at least just not breaking things and getting reprimended or fired because of it).
And funny thing is, when people hear that I am from another field not related to tech, they look at me as some odd, stranger grieve looking specimen, which totally pisses me off. That is why, nowadays I don’t tell anyone, anymore, that I currently work in a field that I was not part of when I started in my carreer (big rookie mistake). But, with that out of the way, some people do know that I a not originally from this field, but then, even though some might look at me puzzled for my choices of carreer, and even some put me on a ‘stand’ because I seem like someone might for juggling several things in order to pay my bills, another thing really pisses me off.
On one hand, such people like to make fun and jokes and put people like me, I think, in a pedestal, kinda like some weirdo which is able to manage stuff which I belive they think one could not (multiple interests that is). While, on the other hand, sometimes they feel utterly nonsensical and forgetful of such endeavours that I do and even poke fun of me, for not doing attending the things they do, as if expecting me to be the same ’normal’ person which in the first place they reiterated which I am not. “Oh, why don’t you attend our barbecue?” or “Oh, you should take easier on yourself” and shit like that.
The paradox.
The paradox is, that such people, often look at me as some kind of friggin’ guinea pig in experiments of sorts, an exquisite or exotic fellow that does a bunch of sutff. While, at the same time, seems totally oblivious of this same fact when at times there seems to be a reprimend or demand for me not being more ’normal’ and doing usual get-together-stuff. Like, they expect me to be and behave like them even though they look at me as some kind of alien, and want to rebound or be sarcastic that I don’t enjoy time with them anymore.
Like, what the actual fuck?
People are oblivious of their demands and what it takes me and costs me to keep up with everything, and honestly more often than not, it is sacrifice. But it is a sacrifice that I am willing to but, even though, whereas unfortunately it is not one that other people are too willing or even capable of comprehending.
But even so, they don’t have to pay my bills or deal with sh*t like I have to do when troubleshooting problems at work like I do. I, as a friend of mine said to me, am the one who knows what the actual fuck is getting shoved up in my ass when I need to finish some project or fix some stuff. They don’t know it, and they don’t have to, and they can just do on with their lives while not bothering to try to control whatever it is that I do or even fail to do.
Sometimes, I guess that being non-essential in certain family or friendship roles would be less than a burden, or at least, I would like to hope, and pray for them to understand.
Or at least think, goddammit.