There seems to be a certain state in which boredom partakes our will, and nowadays it seems truly that we want to get rid of it no matter the cost. We want to indulge in pleasures and stimuli all the time, and usually the worst form of boredom, I believe, seems to reveer its ugly head during the times we feel most alone.
I feel as if this is truly dangerous in certain situations, surprisingly (not) more often when it comes to addictions. We want to indulge in sensations, in order to feel alive, or less dead presumably. Not really dead per se, but in that kind of catatonic state from which oftentimes we seek to refugee ourselves away from it.
The constant bombardment with posts and pictures on how other people are living an unsurprisingly (even though fake) better life than ours seems to take a toll also. Even though we logically know that must not be true, maybe on the feeling level of things that’s just not how it’s perceived in particular.
Could it be that we seek these connections externally because internally we can’t really handle the haywire and havoc of the turmoil that constantly seems to be assaulting ourselves with depreciative thoughts? So therefore, we seek outwards something that might take us out from the state of which we would rather avoid, but that cannot escape (because it is us).
So then we reach this never-ending parabola, swinging back and forth, inward (no I don’t wanna be here) into the outwards (this fells less bored/agitated/whatever-the-fuck-more-you-want-to-name-it). But it doesn’t go beyond it. It then comes back like the pull of an elastic, and we find ourselves within, again, but we wanna be taken out, we wanna be somewhere else that is not within ourselves), but how could we?
Some urge to feel isolated, while others long to be away from it… There always seems to be these movements, so how could we better handle them?